Late Bloomer

Today is Saint Patrick's day. Traditionally, Irish mums get their seventeenth born child drunk on this day. If they've spent all their booze money on lottery tickets, they just use their breast milk, which tastes a lot like Guinness. (I still remember its flavour from my fourteenth birthday.) My mom was Ottawa Valley Irish, which is slightly different from real Irish. For instance, we don't have leprechauns in the Ottawa Valley, just garden gnomes. And when we get angry, we don't throw potatoes at our enemies; we throw hardened cow pies. Everything else is pretty much the same, except maybe the accent.
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© 2011. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.